To all the mom's out there....

> THE INVISIBLE MOTHER > > It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of > response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room > while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the> store. > Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on > the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on> > the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even > standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see> me > at all. > > I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a> > pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie > this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of > hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to > ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide> to > answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?'> I'm > a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' > > I was certain that these were the hands that once held > books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that > graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared > into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's > going, she's going, she's gone! > > One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating > the return of a friend from England .. Janice had just > gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and > on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, > looking around at the others all put together so well. It > was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was > feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a > beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you > this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe> . > > I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me > until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with > admiration for the greatness of what you are building when > no one sees.' > > In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And> > I would discover what would become for me, four > life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: > No one can say who built the great cathedrals > we have no record of their names. > > These builders gave their whole lives > for a work they would never see finished. They made great > sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their > building was fueled by their faith that the > eyes of God saw everything. > > A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came > to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw> > a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He > was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so> > much time carving that bird into a beam that will be> covered > by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman > replied, 'Because God sees.' > > I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into > place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, > 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make > every day, even when no one around you does. No act of > kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no > cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and> > smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you > can't see right now what it will become.' > > At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it > is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure> for > the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote> > to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective > when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people > who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to > work on something that their name will never be on. > > The writer of the book went so far as to say that no > cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because> there > are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. > > When I really think about it, I don't want my child to > tell the friend he's bringing home from college for > Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and > bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for > three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' > That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to > myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if > there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, > 'You're gonna love it there.' > > As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be > seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very > possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we > have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the > world by the sacrifices of invisible women. > > Great Job, MOM!

Carson's Birthday

These are some of my favorite shots from Carson's birthday last week. We just had a small gathering with his Nana's, Papa's and Aunt LJ. He was very spoiled, suprise, suprise, right?! In the top picture he is eating WAY too much cake! The next he is showing off on his new trampoline from Nana and Papa Schaap, he loves to hop, hop, hop all the time and this way he's not doing it on the couch and beds. A shot of his Mickey cake, ooohh....clothes, he really go the hang of opening his presents this year, helping the guys set up his trampoline, all smiles with Papa and ready to blow out the candle (he did it with no help). We had his 2 year check up on Friday and he got his finger poked and his flu shot, all without crying! What a big boy! He is in the 57% for weight and 88% for height....tall muscular boy, hopefully he stays that way. :)

Happy Second Birthday Carson!

I officially sounded like my mother this morning (not saying it's a bad thing). Here's how the dialog went:

Me: Happy Birthday Birthday boy!

Carson: NO CARS! (He doesn't like being called anything except his name and he calls himself Cars)

Me: Happy Birthday Carson, at 4:21am two years ago I gave birth to you so today is the day that we celebrate your birth.

Hard to believe that Carson is two years old already. Unfortunately I don't have any newborn pictures of him on this computer as it crashed about a year ago, so these pictures are from him turning 1! Looking back at these truly makes me see how fast time has gone and how much he has changed right before our eyes. Aaron and I have been truly blessed with this independent little boy(monster) and look forward to celebrating many more birthdays with him (and being able to tell him exactly when he was born). Another thought that popped into my head was, next year we will be celebrating his 3rd birthday with his 6 month old little brother or sister running around....I hope we're prepared! :)

New Carson photos

I know that I have been TERRIBLE about keeping updated with pictures of Carson. These are from the last few weeks (months). The top he is out at Grand Valley running the bleachers with his Nana Schaap. The next one is on a playground goofing around. (It would have been good if I would have realized that the lens was dirty...oops). Tailgaiting with Aunt LJ at GV. Lastly, having fun with mom on Friday night....tubby time. Our little boy is already going to be 2 on October 15th! It doesn't seem possible. I am loving this age and this time with him!

Trip to the zoo

The look on Carsons face says it all.....woah.....look at all the animals. He loved our trip to the zoo
Carson showing aunt LJ and mom the way. He was such a big boy and walked the entire zoo. He only asked to be picked up at the exhibits to see the animals.
Getting a fish from dad to feed the pelicans. His hand were 'dirty' afterwords and we had to make sure and get them cleaned off right away. (He won't make it as a lineman, he can't stand for his hands to be dirty).
His favorite thing in the entire zoo.....monkeys.....this one in particular decided to squat down, poop in his hand and then eat it. If you ask Carson what he saw at the zoo he will say Monkey eat poop. Great cultural experience, or something like that. lol.

Happy Anniversary

It seems insane, but Aaron and I are celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary today! It seems like just yesterday we were scrambling to find a new reception location (11 days before the wedding). That was one of our first major "problem solving" events in our married or almost married lives and I knew that the way we came together and rallied that we would be okay for the long haul. So far, so good. Here is to my rock, the man that I fell in love with 6 years ago and married 4 years ago today. Happy Anniversary.

Carson's first trip to the salon aka first haircut

We finally took Carson to get his first haircut. The shaggy look was really cute, but it was starting to bother his ears. His kept tugging at them trying to get the hair off. He thought that he was a stud at the salon, as you can see he made himself at home in the waiting area. He loved all of the attention he was getting from the women there. Typical man. :) He wasn't too sure of getting his hair cut. He ended up sitting on my lap and I had to hold his arms and Aaron had to hold his head while he was getting it cut. She was able to use the clippers on him though, so we were really impressed. He definately looks even more like a little boy now rather than a baby. I know that we all say it, but where has the time gone?!